TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF IN A RELATIONSHIP – PART 1.
Sometimes we can lose sight of ourselves within a relationship; we can prioritize our partner and forget to put ourselves in the equation. If you are feeling disconnected from yourself within a relationship, here are some ways to reflect, and reconnect.
Step 1. Building a sense of self.
Instead of denying your own needs, prioritize self-care. Self-care is the foundation of our emotional and physical health. This includes adequate sleep, exercise, solitude, reflection, spiritual practices, socializing, pursuing hobbies and interests. Sometimes, in relationships, we can sacrifice our own needs in order to take care of others. When we do this, we’re likely to get sick, irritable, resentful, impatient, disconnected from ourselves, and possibly depressed and anxious. We need to create balance in our lives by meeting our own needs first and giving to others when we’re able to do so without sacrificing our own wellbeing.
Questions to ask yourself:
What do you need? (If you’re not sure, pay attention to how your body feels, your thoughts and feelings.)
What’s one thing you can do today to meet that need?
What other acts of self-care can you commit to doing this week?
Step 2. Take back your choices.
Instead of trying to fix or take care of others, let others make their own choices.
Some of us tend to have big hearts; we care a lot and don’t like to see people suffer. Unfortunately, sometimes this can be seen as trying to manage others’ responses. We need to remember that we can’t control others; we can’t make them change or get help, even when we have their best interest at heart.
Here are some questions to help move toward letting go:
Who or what do you need to detach from?
What’s happened in the past when you’ve tried to fix/help this person or problem?
What can you say to yourself to help you release control and let others make their own choices?
Step 3. Letting go of approval seeking.
Instead of seeking approval from others, lets try to value ourselves.
Some of us tend to look to others for validation and approval. When we do this, we give our power away; we allow others to determine our worth instead of deciding for ourselves. We can build our self-esteem and learn to love and value ourselves by noticing our strengths, forgiving ourselves for our mistakes, and most importantly, remembering that love doesn’t have to be earned; we are all inherently worthy and important.
Some reflections to seek and value you…
What are some of your strengths? What do you like about yourself?
Write a positive affirmation that validates your worth.
So as not to overload you with steps, we can take the time to work through this part, and move toward steps 4-7 in the next post.
Let me know how you go…
Get in contact if you’re seek counselling for yourself, or for you and your partner.